Positive Elements of Cult Life

2 Comments » // September 23rd, 2009

When I was blogging the other day about John, the fellow who I recently found out left the cult I belonged to, I was reminded of and began reflecting on what could be called the “positive” elements of life in a cult.

I know it could seem illogical for me to talk about anything positive about a cult, but bear with me.

Cult life can’t be all bad or no one would stay for 30 seconds, let alone for decades. When I reflect on what it was that kept me in a cult situation for so long much of it had to do with the fact that I was manipulated and coerced into believing that if I left the cult leader (or even questioned her) I’d be working for the devil. But a small part of what kept me tied to her was also the sense of community and spiritual purpose that I got from belonging to the group.

And I have to say, that after almost ten years after leaving I can still feel the void where that sense of purpose used to be.

It was an all-consuming sense of purpose. My cult leader had me convinced that we were the chosen few people on the planet who were saving the universe from the forces of evil and darkness. That kind of devotion to a cause is not trifling. It is passionate and alive and burns feverishly inside its possessor.

Life on the outside of a cult is never that certain. It is a much less black-or-white morality that I live with now. Real life, life without a manipulative guru pulling my strings, is messy and complicated in a way that cult life is not. And sometimes, honestly, it’s a lot less fulfilling. In the cult, even the most unrewarding, boring day could be chalked up as one more victorious step taken by those of us who believed we worked exclusively for God.

The trade-off for this fiery, passionate, absolute sense of purpose is freedom. The freedom to screw up. The freedom to make a mess of my life. The freedom to explore my relationship with the divine on my own terms. The freedom to not put up with any kind of abuse from anyone in my life. The freedom to think and feel and believe whatever I want without repercussions. The freedom to be who I most authentically am.

But it is a trade off. And I can understand how someone without much sense of self or someone who felt empty and without value (like I did years ago) would trade their freedom for this sense of purpose. And I intimately understand why people put up with abuse in order to have that sense of purpose, because I did that too.

If you never found your place in life and then a spiritual leader told you you belonged with her and that you mattered to God, that might be enough to get you to sign up for for the course in crazy that she was offering. It worked on me.

I’m not saying it makes logical sense. But I am saying that it does happen. And that having a sense of purpose is a force to be reckoned with.

Those of my readers who have been in a cult will understand this. Those who have family members or loved ones involved in a cult will hopefully have a little more understanding now about what keeps their loved one tied to the leader, even if it means enduring some terrible situations.