A guru’s favorite lie

Comment now » // October 13th, 2009

In Robert Lifton’s Eight Criteria for Thought Reform, number seven is Doctrine Over Person. I feel compelled to talk about this a bit today, because I was recently reminded of how subtle and yet damaging this criteria is.

One of the ways that Lifton explains Doctrine Over Person is that any questions or criticisms of the cult or the leader are always turned around onto the person asking the question. The person asking or challenging the group or the leader is made to feel that they are somehow at fault for speaking up; in the case of our cult we were often told we were “in our ego” if we challenged the leader. She was pure and free of ego (according to her) and so when any of us had questions about her doctrine or her teaching methods we were made to feel that either a) we weren’t advanced enough spiritually so that’s why we couldn’t understand what the leader was doing or saying or b) we were at fault for questioning her – the questioner was either “in his/her head” or “in his/her ego” (terrible sins) or, worse, was being taken over by negative energy that was trying to attack the leader.

Consequently we learned VERY quickly never to question her and became mute, obedient robots.

However, here’s the important point I want to make; even with this paradigm in place, our leader often said to us, “You can always challenge me. I am open to any questions about what I do or say. Never believe anything anyone tells you without questioning it.”

With her mouth she was telling us one thing but with her actions she told us the complete opposite. It took me years of recovery work to be able to name this disconnect, but when I did I felt so relieved.

Now, I’m thankful for having had that experience because it has taught me to listen to people’s words AND to their actions. I take both communication methods into account with anyone I encounter, but especially with teachers. I was in a class the other day where the teacher said, almost word for word, what my cult leader used to say, “You can challenge me anytime.” But then she very subtly shamed someone who did exactly that a few minutes later. So now my antennae are quivering and I will pay very close attention to anything else this teacher says or does from now on.