Loss and gain

The analogy is based on scientific fact and goes like this: if you put a frog in a pot of room-temperature water on a stove and slowly turn up the heat under the pot, the frog will not register the slow and subtle change in temperature and, eventually, will boil to death without ever having realized it was in danger. However, if you first boil the water in the pot and then drop the frog into the boiling water, the frog will immediately sense the danger in the water temperature and jump out.

I haven’t even met you but I can say for sure that you’re just as smart as that frog, and if the water was already boiling when you approached a cult, you would jump out right away. If, on your first visit to a spiritual, political or business group, you were instructed to leave your spouse and give your young children away to be raised by their grandparents and marry someone from the group whom you barely knew and leave your home and quit your job to go and live in a remote wilderness lodge and work for no wages seven days a week, year round, all because a fat, blonde woman with an Austrian accent at the front of the room said that “God” was speaking to her in a voice only she could hear and it was He who said you should do these things, you, and every other person on the planet, would run screaming from the room and never, ever look back.

But that’s just the trouble. If it were that easy to spot thought-reform techniques being used on a group, gurus would go out of business faster than you can say, “Is it just me or is it a little warm in here?” At first, everything seems normal and comfortable, there at room temperature. The people are friendly, there’s an element of purposefulness and meaning that has perhaps been lacking in your life and you’re pleased to find a group of like-minded people with whom to explore spiritual (or political or business) questions and, besides, even medical doctors agree that learning to meditate is good for your physical and mental health. The woman teaching the class is charismatic and a little out there, but she is also a refreshing breath of air and she makes you feel pleased with yourself because she comments on how she can see right away that you are special.

The bad news is that self-appointed gurus like Limori become skilled at knowing exactly what temperature each and every person in the group needs to be cooking at to provide her with the greatest element of power, control and manipulation. Looking back I can see now that our guru knew exactly when to turn up or lower the heat that was directed at every one of us.