I submitted the book for consideration back in February, and with one thing and another, had completely forgotten about that. Then one day in late May I returned home from work and had the most wonderful voice mail from the organization letting me know that I had won a Bronze Medal in the category of Autobiography/Memoir.

I’m quite chuffed, considering this is the first book I’ve written (although it won’t be the last). I had realized several weeks ago that I’d exceeded all the goals I had for the book. While I was writing it, my list of most important goals looked like this:

1. Get the book finished. Not as easy as it sounds, but an extremely gratifying goal to accomplish. To have written a book from beginning to end and to be able to point to it and think to myself, “I wrote that,” was wildly satisfying.

2. Publish the book. Given how I felt after Goal #1 was accomplished, I almost didn’t publish the book. It felt SO good to get my story out onto the page and to tell it from beginning to end. I was so satisfied, in fact, that I did consider not publishing it. But in the end, I remembered that one of my intentions had been to use my story to help other cult survivors, so I did publish it (obviously).

3. Have my friends and family read it. Granted, they were somewhat obligated. When your daughter/sister/close friend/niece/cousin/step-sister writes a book you’re pretty much guaranteed that you’re going to have to read it. Thankfully for me, no one grumbled.

That was really it, in terms of lofty goals for my first book. Secretly, I had a couple of others that I admitted to myself only in a very whispery voice, late at night.

4. Have the book help an ex-cult member or family member of a cult victim. As I said, one of my intentions had been to use my story to help other cult survivors, but I had few plans, other than this blog, about getting the word out about the book. However, never underestimate the power of the internet and the power of the family-and-friend grapevine. Within 12 weeks of publishing the books I received several very heartfelt letters from some people who had either survived the same cult I was in or who knew someone who had been in the cult. These letters expressed a mix of gratitude for the new understanding that had arrived as a result of reading the book and, in some cases, forgiveness. Forgiveness for themselves for the feelings and experiences they’d had and forgiveness for those they had known in the cult. Words cannot express how this made me feel.

5. Have the cult itself become aware of the book. I thought it could take 2 or 3 years for this to happen. For word to trickle into the tiny community in remote British Columbia where the cult leader has her disciples trapped. It took eight weeks. Colour me surprised and VERY happy. Up your manipulative, abusive nose with a rubber hose, Lady Guru.

And then there are a couple of lofty goals the book has achieved that I never would have considered hoping for.

6. Winning an IPPY! Click here to read more about the award and to see Cult a Love Story listed as a Bronze Medal winner. (Category #27)

7. Being asked to give an author reading at the International Cultic Studies conference in New York City! More about this in a future post.

So, anyway, that’s the background on today’s blog. I’m a fan of artists of every sort, and am especially rabid about writers. One of my favorite Canadian writers is a young man from Ontario called Jason McCoy. He’s a country singer and I call him a writer because he writes such amazing lyrics.

His band The Road Hammers just released a single called I’ve Got the Scars to Prove It from their latest album. One of the lines in the song is, “Life’s just a word ’til you go through it.”

I couldn’t agree more and love the message in those nine succinct words. What is says to me is that unless my life is messy and sometimes uncomfortable that it’s not really a life. I often find myself wanting things to be easier or less painful, especially when it comes to cult recovery, but the truth is that I think life was designed to be this way. It’s not supposed to be perfect and simple and smooth sailing.

Later in the song the line is changed just slightly. “Love’s just a word ’til you go through it.” Again, brilliant. Until we experience love it has very little meaning. Experiencing love with all its pain and angst and beauty and passion makes us realize that it too is messy and that, I think, is the way it’s supposed to be.

All this is to say that writing like this wakes me up. If I had been feeling sorry for myself about the challenges in my life, hearing the lyrics in this Road Hammers song made me relish life and love (and the loss of love) rather than resist it.

Part Three of my book is titled, “It Ain’t Pretty But It’s Real” for this very reason.

So the fact that I learned all that and got all my material collected into a work that is hopefully engaging and educational is almost a miracle. I feel very proud of the book and of the fact that I was able to bring it all the way from idea to printed form.

The little milestone that I reached today is that I collected and boxed up and put away the section of my office that contained all the matter related to the book; letters, drafts, notes, mind maps, idea charts, recipe cards with things to remember, and file folders with research. It’s all packed away.

It might not seem like a big deal, but for almost two years that pile of stuff and coil bound draft copies of the book was all I had to prove to myself that what I was doing was real. To see the pile grow was one milestone in the early days. Now, to be DONE the book, so done that I can pack all that stuff away, is …amazing. My baby has been born.

The “How to Write a Book” books have been replaced with “How to Market a Book” books.

A new journey begins.