FAQs

What was the name of the cult you were involved with?
This is the question I get asked most often. The group I became involved with was not a famous or large organization. It was a small group of people who were interested in learning to meditate. The woman who ran the group was someone who considered herself to be a spiritual medium. She began applying thought reform (also called mind control) techniques on those who followed her; our choices became limited and we were told that if we left the group we would be leaving God, which is one of the criteria that’s used to define a cult.

How do you define a cult?
The International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA), a non-profit research and education organization and global network of people concerned about psychological manipulation and abuse in cultic groups, defines a cult this way:

A cult is a group or movement exhibiting great or excessive devotion or dedication to some person, idea or thing, and employing unethical manipulative or coercive techniques of persuasion and control (e.g., isolation from former friends and family, debilitation, use of special methods to heighten suggestibility and subservience, powerful group pressures, information management, suspension of individuality or critical judgment, promotion of total dependency on the group and fear of leaving it), designed to advance the goals of the group’s leaders, to the actual or possible detriment of members, their families, or the community.

My personal belief, after my experience with the cult and with recovery, is that the most fundamental value that is espoused by a cult is that members are not free to leave. In the case of the cult I belonged to we were told that if we left the leader and the group that we would be leaving God. Because those of us who were involved were people who loved God, this element of the group leader’s doctrine meant that our choices became limited and we became bound to the leader and had to endure whatever abuse she aimed our way.

How does one get swept up in a coercive environment?
No one joins a cult. That’s a quote from Deborah Layton who wrote a book about her experiences with Jim Jones and the Jonestown cult. What she means is that no one knowingly puts themselves in a situation where they will be manipulated and controlled and abused. We join groups of people who are like-minded, whose values seem close to our own and slowly, slowly we are convinced that the leader knows better for us than we know for ourselves. As our choices become more and more limited and we are manipulated to believe that we cannot leave and that what we are doing is right and good, we lose track of our authentic selves and begin to develop what cult expert Steven Hassan calls a “cult self” that believes the doctrine we have been fed.

Joining a cult does not mean that someone is unintelligent or unworldly. It is an immensely complicated psychological process and one that I deal with in great detail in my book.

Is the cult you were in still operating?
Yes, the cult leader does still have people under her sway at the resort she owns in remote British Columbia.

What caused you to leave that group?
My escape from the cult came as a result of questions I had begun to have about the guru we followed, combined with a particularly nasty event that she subjected me to. I began to receive therapy after that event, while I still belonged to the group, but the therapist helped me to learn to trust my own feelings and to question the leader and the group I was involved with. It was a draw-out process and certainly didn’t happen overnight. And even after I left the group I still had loyalty to the leader – this is common among those who have left a guru. It took many more years of therapy and reading about cults before I felt mostly healed from the experience. And recovery is ongoing. The experience will always be with me.

How does one avoid getting caught up in a coercive environment?
The best way to avoid finding oneself in a manipulative or coercive environment is to get informed about cults through sites like this and others. There are also tools one can use to assess whether or not a group or a group leader is using mind control or thought reform techniques. The most commonly used tools are Dr. Robert J. Lifton’s Eight Criteria for Thought Reform, Dr. Margaret Singer’s Six Conditions for Understanding Destructive Cults and Steve Hassann has what he calls the BITE (Behaviour, Information, Thought, Emotion control) method of discerning whether or not a group is a cult.

If I know someone who is involved in what seems to be a cult, what do I do?
Before taking any action or even speaking to the person you are concerned about, gather as much information as you can about cults. Read Steven Hassan’s books, Combatting Cult Mind Control and Releasing the Bonds. Mr. Hassan is a former Moonie who is now a counseling psychologist who helps families of those trapped in cults and counsels those who have left cults.

Learn about the tools I recommend in the previous answer. See if you can measure the group you are concerned about against one of those tools.

It’s VERY important to remain a supportive and non-judgmental presence in your loved-one’s life if they are involved with a cult. Do not criticize the group in front of your loved one, even if you disagree with its methods. Do not accuse the group of being a cult. Let your loved one know that you support and love them and present a curious but cautious front. This is important so that your loved one knows they have support outside the group they are involved with, should they decide to leave.

Unfortunately, rational thought does not work when you are speaking to someone who has been subjected to thought reform. So you need to educate yourself as best as possible about how to deal with someone who may be involved in a cult. Combatting Cult Mind Control has lots of information about this and about how to stage what is called a cult intervention. I highly recommend reading it before you take any action.

What resources did you find helpful during your cult recovery?

Here’s a partial list. You will also find more in the Resources section of my book:

International Cultic Studies Association

Dr. Janja Lalich

Steven Hassan – Freedom of Mind